Welcome Silas Wesley

I feel overwhelming gratefulness. I've delayed a few days writing this post because I can't adequately put into words how I feel. On July 1st we welcomed our son Silas Wesley into the world. A tiny 6 pounds 11 ounces - the identical weight of his sister. (what are the chances??) Some of you know, others don't, that prior to this last pregnancy I lost two others. Early. 8 weeks and 6 weeks along. When they happened I was upset but consoled by the thought that somehow it would work out for my good. Over the two years it took to actually get to a successful pregnancy - I became discouraged at times and by the third time around I admit I was petrified of miscarrying again.

Now I'll share a backstory that's woven into Silas's birth. It's long... but if just one person is helped by it - it's worth exposing my emotions and faith. Years ago, God had given me a scripture. I would always see the number 11. On the clock, when I checked out of a store on receipts, every time someone gave me a number in a line, when I would randomly wake up at night and look at the clock. I mean ALL the time. One new year's eve day I saw it every hour of the day and I felt certain there must be something to it. I asked God if there were some meaning behind the scripture to show me it's purpose and make the sermon at that night's watch night service maybe reveals it's purpose. That night Steve Robson preached the sermon "Faith"... text taken from Hebrews 11. (Hebrews 11:1 Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.) I was immediately certain that that was God's will and that overtime I saw 11 he wanted me to have faith. It was also testimony night at church which is when the mic is handed around to anyone who wants to give a report of something God has done. I told the whole church about the 11 thing (some may have thought I was crazy) and that I felt God had shown me that night what he wanted me to see. Afterward Steve came up to me and said "did you see Hebrews 11:11?". I opened the bible... " Hebrews 11:11 Through faith also Sarah herself received strength to conceive seed, and was delivered of a child when she was past age, because she judged him faithful who had promised."

Keep in mind that this all transpired years before I had children. I hadn't yet battled to conceive Lydia or dealt with any miscarriages. So fast forward about 5 years from that night to 2010 and six weeks along with Silas - I started bleeding just like I had with the two prior miscarriages. I couldn't believe it because MANY things (too many to mention) had transpired with this particular pregnancy to make me believe that this one would stick - and I had testified to people about it. I cried that night. I knelt to pray that night and said "Lord... have your will.. if this child is better with you take it - but if you have a life for it with me... let me keep it". That particular night I had knelt at the end of my bed instead of the side as I usually would so I had a full view of the clock when I picked up my head from praying. When I looked up it was 11:11. I knew God was bringing to pass the full circle of why He gave me that scripture. That night I dreamt a dream that took ten seconds total. In it I was looking at a computer screen writing "P.S. We had a little boy last week!". I woke up and told Wes. I still bled the next day and only was able to get into the doctor a few days later. They did an ultrasound and confirmed a healthy heart beat.

Fast forward to his birth. I had worried a lot because in my third trimester Silas hiccuped a lot. Like 5 or 6 times a day. I read about a connection with cord compression and frequent hiccups and I let fear get the better of me. Every time he hiccuped I prayed for him. In Flagstaff, you can't have a natural birth after c-section (hospital policy) so he was a scheduled c-section 1 week before his due date. When my doctor opened me up Silas was so tangled in his cords that they were struggling a little to pull him out. He had it wrapped around each foot and his body. I wept... and wept... and wept in gratefulness that he was okay and I instantly knew why I had had to have a c-section with Lydia - so that with Silas I would be forced not to deliver naturally. The tender had of Jehovah. Don't EVER complain if you have to have a c-section. Sometimes things happen for a reason that's beyond your understanding. Silas actually has hiccups frequently SINCE being born so I don't think they were related to his cord. BUT... my doctor did say that had I given natural birth - the cord could have been a problem. He's here though... healthy and well and 100% a miracle. Like every healthy baby that breaths life. But a very special miracle to me.

So welcome to the world my little son. I pray God helps me and your Daddy to raise you as a kind and loving human being to ALL people - who portrays Jesus to the world. That's not something you can do on your own... I'm going to need God's help just like I did since the day he was conceived.

P.S. Did I mention... we had a little boy last week!

Wes took the photos of me holding Silas which I'm SO grateful for. As the photographer you tend to have an "under-abundance" of photos that include you but I didn't want to miss this!

This is a photo of a check I wrote out early in the pregnancy. Someone gave us these books at church and they're a great way to put your faith in writing! I posted it on my fridge and overtime I felt doubtful I just looked at the check and remembered to thank God for the work he had ALREADY done! The ultrasound was from the 6/7 week post-bleeding ultrasound confirming healthy heartbeat.